Wednesday, October 25, 2017

Winnipeg Can't Do

List of things Winnipeg Can't Do.

Please feel free to add any.

Can't open Portage and Main because it will slow traffic

Can't make buses safe

Can't drive without hitting pedestrians

Can't make proper bike lanes

Can't synchronize lights properly

Can't stop firefighters and paramedics from hating one another

Can't build big city projects without being way over budget and an RCMP investigation

Can't put WIFI on buses

Can't stop or even investigate bike theft

Can't stop using drugs

Can't stop people from disappearing

Can't stop geese from ordering us around

Can't get round the week construction or any that falls outside of 9 to 5 Monday to Friday

Can't stop walk on motions at city council meetings

Can't get city managers to tell council what they're doing

Can't stop police shifters

Can't stop trees from dying

Can't prune trees

Can't re-plant trees

Can't contract out garbage properly

Can't close small schools

Can't put indigenous casino in city

Can't develop Kapyong Barracks

Can't widen Kenaston

Can't re-route trains to airport area

Can't get Uber

Can't get taxi numbers up

Can't get taxi drivers who know the city

Can't get proper traffic circles

Can't get a waterpark

Can't get quiet cargo jets at night

Can't rely on police to give timely Breathalyzer to other police

Can't get firefighters to tell city hall that prime minister is visiting

Can't get any more malathion

Can't get clear water

Can't change one way streets back to two way

Can't get emergency care south of the Assiniboine

Can't do anything on old fort site except build a parking lot

Can't do diagonal parking

Can't get meters to work in the cold

Can't learn know your snow zone

Can't stop construction at Sherbrook and Portage taking place for 10 summers in a row

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Can't expropriate a car wash.