Saturday, December 18, 2010

Winter Driving Conditions - New Terms

The new colour coded map of winter road conditions and terminology

The Manitoba NDP government has now created a new standard for terms and colours pertaining to Manitoba winter road conditions.

To help figure things out, here is a tutorial.

Black: Manitobans like their roads black, like their Presidents.

Yellow: Manitobans know this to be roads partly covered by bathroom stops but mostly you have to run off to the side of the road to take a pee. Be careful. It can be slippery.

White: Manitobans know this to be covered. If you spit out the window, it will freeze before it hits the ground.

Red: Manitobans know this to be closed. But it also can mean you have been driving on the river.

Orange: Manitobans know this to be construction. However, it means that ten years of NDP government means a lot of broken down roads.

Pink: Manitobans know this mean caution. This can mean that there is either a cancer fundraiser or a gay pride festival ahead.

Black and Yellow: Manitobans know this means fair visibility. However, be aware of a swarm of bees affecting what you see.

White and Black: Manitobans know this to mean poor visibility. This is usually the result of rubber necking to look at police cars and hitting the car in front of you.

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